pride is expensive

i'm not the rule or the blueprint. most of what i believe came from getting it wrong first.

but if there’s one thing i’ve learned, it’s that ego is evil. not in an event specific way, (rest assured this isn't a contradiction dressed as a metaphor), but evil in an everyday way. evil in the day to day choices that slowly cost you the most, kind of way.

ego is what makes you say the harsher thing. it’s what makes you double down when you should apologize. it’s what convinces you that being right matters more than being compassionate.

there's been countless times in my life that i’ve had to learn that caring doesn’t mean competing. it doesn’t mean proving. it doesn’t mean protecting my pride at all costs. it just means staying grounded in who i am, and doing the right thing even when my pride would rather win.

i mean, the world already runs on pride and performance. i don’t want to.

so, i try to create more than i consume, i try to value morals over aesthetics, i try to be kind even when met with cruelty, not because i’m above anything, but because i know what it feels like when someone chooses ego over empathy.

like i said, i am in no way the rule, but i truly believe all the love you give returns to you. maybe not from the same people, maybe not when you want it, but it comes back. i could be wrong. but even if i am, i don't mind, because what do you lose from loving?

my point is that ego treats love like a transaction. it keeps score. it wants guarantees. it says 'ill give, but only if i get.'

but love without ego isn’t about leverage, it’s about alignment. it’s choosing to love because that’s who you are, not because you’re promised a return.

ego says protect yourself at all costs.

faith says give anyway.